To keep track of things, it helps immensely if you include all of previous
message(s) in your replies to the newsgroup. Thank you.
A. I'm assuming that if you go to 'File > Identities > Manage identities',
you do NOT find more than one (1) identity. Furthermore, I'm assuming that,
e.g., RB@isp.com and MrsRB@isp.com are both listed in Tools > Accounts >
Mail; note that only one address can be the default here.
When sending a New Message, the default address will be displayed in the
FROM field. To select the other address, double-click on FROM.
When sending a Reply or Forward, the address to which the original message
was sent will be displayed in the FROM field.
By default, all incoming (new) messages will download into one (1) Inbox.
You can use a Message Rule to filter messages to a specific, user-created
folder instead.
Message Rules Tips
http://www.insideoe.com/tips/rules.htm
Why doesn't my rule work?
http://www.insideoe.com/faqs/why.htm#rules
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B. If you want, you can create a new identity for either you or the missus
to use: File > Identities > Add new identity.
You would have only one (1) address configured in Tools > Accounts > Mail in
/each/ identity.
Either of you can easily switch identities via File > Switch identity.
You can select the default identity to which OE opens via "File > Identities
> Manage identities > Use this identity when starting a program." You can
also set up OE such that an identity /has/ to be selected before it will
open: http://www.insideoe.com/tips/forceid.htm
You can password-protect one or both identities.

Signature
~Robear Dyer (PA Bear)
MS MVP-Windows (IE, OE, Security, Shell/User)
AumHa VSOP & Admin; DTS-L.org
> I don't know what I have---except I've set up an account for my wife, and
> one for me.
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> I can selectively decide which email address to send under. The problem
> now is it's downloading both hers and mine into my pc.
<paste>
PA Bear wrote:
> You have one identity in which your email account is running and another
> identity in which your wife's email account is running?
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>> Do we select back and forth between those simply by toggling the default
>> setting?