Yeah... Well, help us help you...

Got any more details surrounding this enigma of a statement?
"... ive gone to the website..   downloaded stuff ..."

Overview of Remote Assistance in Windows XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/300546

Using Remote Assistance to Get Help When You Need It
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/helpandsupport/learnmore/remoteassist/i
ntro.mspx

HOW TO: Obtain Remote Assistance Using Windows Messenger in Windows XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/306556/

Start a Remote Assistance Session from Windows Messenger
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/helpandsupport/learnmore/remoteassist/v
iaim.mspx

HOW TO: Provide Remote Assistance In Response to Windows Messenger
Invitation in Windows XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/306800/

HOW TO: Obtain Remote Assistance by Sending an E-mail Message in Windows XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/306757/

HOW TO: Provide Remote Assistance in Response to an E-mail Invitation in
Windows XP
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/306791/

Start a Remote Assistance Session by Sending a File
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/helpandsupport/learnmore/remoteassist/v
iafile.mspx

Step-by-Step Guide to Remote Assistance
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/prodtechnol/winxppro/maintain/rmassist.mspx

Provide Remote Assistance When Using a NAT Device
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/networking/learnmore/tips/jackson1.mspx

Don't want to use "Remote Assistance"?

UltraVNC
http://ultravnc.sourceforge.net/

TightVNC
http://www.tightvnc.com/

*Note* - you still need to know how to properly configure any firewall
(software or hardware) and any router/NAT device you have to allow these
products to work.